Friend or Family?


A couple of Sundays ago our Provost at the Cathedral preached on the strange precept that we can turn a famous saying round and get nearer the truth.

We normally say that ‘You can choose your friends but not your family’. but he asked us to consider that ‘Your friendsare not really chosen, the friendship forms itself, but you do choose how you will relate to those we call ‘family’.’

It seemed a very strange concept to me, especially when we talk about ‘making friends’, but it set me to thinking……maybe certain friendships are ‘natural’ in that they seem to appear from no-where….a chance meeting on holiday, speaking to someone at a bus-stop… my case, meeting the Lady of the House first at a car with a puncture. There was nothing contrived about it…it just happened and that chance meeting has always felt as if it was meant to be and we were the lucky recipients of chance.

Family members are another matter…we have no choice of who are our relations….but we do actually decide and select those with whom we choose to keep in contact. We do act in different ways to nephews, neices, uncles, aunts, parents, children etc…..each interaction is different and we choose how we will communicate with them.

So do you get on better with friends or relations. Let me know….if you have the courage to put it in print!


4 thoughts on “Friend or Family?

  1. I get on better with my friends,my dad and my children I get on with fine rest of the family not really I do keep in touch with some out of duty.

  2. That is really interesting. Its something i have been thinking about of late. I use this saying quite a bit. But we do make our family in a way dont we?. We make our children and thats family.
    Thanks for sharing this and i will be reversing it more often and sharing it with others. x

  3. And i just wanted to add. I get on better with family. But it has taken a while to get to that point.
    My sister is my best frined second to my hubby. My cousins are very close too.
    They are great but also know how to hurt me the most. I sometimes wish i had closer frineds. x

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