A couple of Sundays ago our Provost at the Cathedral preached on the strange precept that we can turn a famous saying round and get nearer the truth.
We normally say that ‘You can choose your friends but not your family’. but he asked us to consider that ‘Your friendsare not really chosen, the friendship forms itself, but you do choose how you will relate to those we call ‘family’.’
It seemed a very strange concept to me, especially when we talk about ‘making friends’, but it set me to thinking……maybe certain friendships are ‘natural’ in that they seem to appear from no-where….a chance meeting on holiday, speaking to someone at a bus-stop…..in my case, meeting the Lady of the House first at a car with a puncture. There was nothing contrived about it…it just happened and that chance meeting has always felt as if it was meant to be and we were the lucky recipients of chance.
Family members are another matter…we have no choice of who are our relations….but we do actually decide and select those with whom we choose to keep in contact. We do act in different ways to nephews, neices, uncles, aunts, parents, children etc…..each interaction is different and we choose how we will communicate with them.
So do you get on better with friends or relations. Let me know….if you have the courage to put it in print!